It's All Funfairs And Games
by wackyjacqs
Summary: Daniel wanted to go left. Sam wanted to go right. Jack was starting to get confused, and Teal'c? Well, he just got bored of waiting. Slight S/J. Set during S4. Oneshot.


**A/N: Another bizarre holiday entry! **

**I have no excuses for this one. None whatsoever. If you want someone to blame though, blame my friends, because this is partly based on a true story. :) Set sometime during Season 4. Slight S/J. This hasn't been beta read either, so any mistakes are mine. :)**

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**It's All Funfairs And Games (or 'Plush Animal Lover's Day - 28 October)**

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"A little to the left."

"No, you need to go to the right… and back it up a little."

"_'Back it up a little'? _You know what this is, right, Carter?"

"I said you needed to go left!"

"Uh… the _other _left, Sir."

"This is a most ineffective strategy."

"Whoa! T! You can't do that buddy!"

"On the contrary, O'Neill."

"Teal'c?!"

"Umm, Daniel? I think you should take Teal'c –"

"Oh, fer cryin' out loud! Carter! Daniel! _Someone! _Help me out here before we get in trouble!"

"Yes, Sir."

"Teal'c? Why don't we just go and…"

"We have an objective to fulfill here first, Daniel Jackson."

"I know, Teal'c, but there's a certain… etiquette when it comes to this sort of thing."

"_Apparently."_

"Jack! I'm trying to help!"

"Well help a little faster then, someone's coming! And Carter?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"Stop smirking."

"Yes, Sir."

"Okay, Teal'c, can you... Look, can you just come away from the machine and then I'll explain, please?"

"Very well, Daniel Jackson."

With a loud crash, Teal'c let the large claw machine fall back into its original place, from where he had started to tip it to one side. In unison, both Jack and Sam then exhaled a long breath as they watched an exasperated Daniel slowly lead their teammate to the other side of the arcade.

The Colonel sighed loudly. "Remind me why we're here again?"

"Teal'c wanted to attend the fair. We missed it last year because of our trip to Netu, remember?" Sam answered, turning to face him.

"Ah, yes. How could I forget," he grimaced.

Sam offered him a sympathetic smile, before her attention drifted towards their other teammates. She let out a sigh of relief when she noticed they were in the queue for more tokens.

"Oh, COME ON!" Jack growled, causing his Second-in-Command to spin around to face him.

"What's wrong?" she asked, glancing around for a threat of some kind.

"Look at that! Well, that's just ruined everything," Jack replied dramatically.

Frowning, Sam stepped closer and let her gaze fall to where he was pointing. She couldn't help but smirk.

The Colonel had spent the previous ten minutes at the claw machine, pulling the lever back and forward, left and right, in an attempt to get the claw into the right position. He'd almost perfected it, only for Teal'c to seemingly grow bored of waiting – which is what led the Jaffa to step up the machine and tip it backwards. As a result, all of the items inside had moved around… including the one the Colonel had been trying to win.

The words had left the Major's lips before she could stop them.

"I did say you were taking too long. All you had to do was move it to the right."

She immediately regretted the words as Jack leveled a glare at her. Deciding she needed to do something quickly to get back into his good books, Sam walked to the other side of the machine, and paused for a moment as her eyes roamed the prizes and the position of the claw. Moving back to the Colonel's side, she gestured to the levers.

"May I?"

Jack smirked. "Be my guest."

Minutes later, the claw had been repositioned and Sam stood back from the machine.

"It's the best I can do, Sir."

Eyeing her warily, the Colonel stepped into her personal space before gesturing to the machine. They both turned and he hit the red retrieve button positioned beside the levers. Sam held her breath as the mechanics in the machine clunked and the claw slowly made its way towards the prizes below.

She closed her eyes and silently berated herself for not being able to watch anymore. She didn't need to worry however, as the Colonel's crowed: "YES!" told her everything she needed to know.

Seconds later, she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist before she was lifted off the ground. Letting out an uncharacteristic yelp, Sam felt the world spin, and the scent that she classified as 'uniquely Jack' invaded her senses. Opening her eyes, she realized the Colonel was indeed spinning her around in circles – and they were attracting more and more attention as time passed.

"Ah, Sir," she said breathlessly. "Could you… put me down, please?"

She felt her feet touch the ground and as she tried to regain her equilibrium, the Colonel placed his lips next to her ear.

"You're amazing, Carter!"

With that, he removed his arms from her waist and turned back to the claw machine. Sam watched in bemusement as he crouched down and reached into the tray that sat beneath the controls. A burst of laughter escaped her, but whether that was due to the Colonel's expression, or his newly acquired prize, she wasn't sure.

For there, in his hand, was a plush Homer Simpson toy, wearing nothing but a pair of white boxers with 'D'oh!' written on the rear.

"Happy now, Sir?" Sam asked with a smile.

Jack beamed in return. "You betcha! Homer's the only one I needed to complete my collection!"

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**A/N: Okay, so I know Homer isn't exactly an animal, but… a plush toy is a plush toy! ;) **

**Also, thank you so much to everyone who left reviews for 'Once Upon A Time...' - I am absolutely blown away with how well it has been received, and enjoyed, so thank you! **


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